Last week was my oldest daughter's birthday. Since my husband was out of town, we saved the party business for another day and opted to have some girl time instead. We spent the day at Chuck E Cheese, playing with friends, watching movies and eating cupcakes.
That night, my little-six-year-old cuddled up to me and said, "Mom? It's night time. Why aren't you on your computer?"
I kissed her head and answered, "I'm not working today. I'm hanging out with you."
And her eyes got super wide and she said, "Wow! That's the first time you've EVER done that! Thank you for not working, Mommy!"
Yeah, I listened to Cat's Cradle on repeat that night and drowned my Mommy Guilt in the leftover cupcakes, comforted in the fact that this same daughter also said she NEVER goes to the bookstore. Hello, if I buy another book, they're going to name a wing after us. If bookstores had wings.
The truth is, I am on my computer a lot. Or hiding in the closet so I can talk to my agent. Or I'm reading a friend's book at the park. Two years ago, when I sold my first book, I went from a full-time mom with a dream to a full-time mom with a career. Sometimes, I feel like I'm straddling some invisible line between the two, wanting so desperately to succeed in both, never feeling like I'm doing my best in either.
But. The beauty of my job is that I CAN be a full-time mom. I can put my kids to bed and stay up until 1 to get that dang character description right. There are weeks where cereal is on the menu every night, and others where I don't write at all. And I teach my kids the importance of perseverance and going after a dream simply by booting up that computer every day.
It's a crazy, wonderful balancing act, filled with play-do and "quick email checks". And a day NEVER EVER goes by that I'm not grateful for it.
You can visit Lindsey at http://www.lindseyleavitt.com
HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY, TO ALL YOU MOTHERS OUT THERE! (And especially to Lindsey, Rosanne, and Lindsay! Thanks for inspiring us!)